Happy Father's Day, Or Is It? I think about our Dad every day, especially on Father's Day. I wish I had spent more quality time with him. While this might seem like a common sentiment, today it brings deep sadness. As a father myself, I have mixed emotions about today. I remind myself that feelings aren’t facts and that they will pass. For those facing similar struggles, know that you are not alone. Listen to the Law Enforcement Talk Radio for free in Apple Podcasts, Spotify, our website or most major podcast platforms.
Our Father passed away from lung cancer a little over 31 years ago on New Year's Eve. Three days on the calendar are particularly tough for me: New Year's Eve, his Birthday, and Father's Day. You can stay updated about this and other crime and trauma stories simply by following us on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and most all social media platforms.
We won’t be grilling today, and our daughters live out of state, so I won’t get to spend time with them. Later in the day, I’ll be fine, but right now, I’m not.
First, my experience as a father. I was blessed with two daughters who are the loves of my life. They are phenomenal people living their best lives. I feel that their mother and I did a great job raising them, though most of the credit goes to their mother. We divorced when they were very young and moved to different states.
Despite the distance, I remained part of their lives, and we have good relationships, better than most would assume given our situation.
As a father, I had several roles, all of which I did well, except one: maintaining peace in our family and keeping my mouth shut. My time serving in the Baltimore Police Department exposed me to repeated violence and trauma. Check out all of our great interviews available as a free podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, our website, or most major podcast platforms.
This can lead to a terrible anger response, which I experienced. My anger was different from what most people think of when they hear the term. It resulted from never being able to relax, combined with sleep difficulties and depression, leading to a highly reactive state.
Like many couples, we had disagreements that triggered my anger outbursts, deeply affecting me, my ex-wife, and our children. For this, while it never rose to a level that most think of, I still feel guilt and shame that can be overwhelming.
The good news is that this hasn’t been an issue for decades. I met and married a wonderful woman, another love of my life, including our Daughters, and we have been together for over 25 years. For more news and updates, follow us on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and numerous other social media platforms.
Remember this, life does get much better.
Now, our Dad. He was a wonderful man, and I miss him dearly. He was a career member of the United States Navy, retiring when I was about 18. He then became a defense contractor, which required a lot of travel, taking a toll on all of us, including him. I didn’t realize the extent of this until later in life, especially on Father's Day.
As we both aged and his health deteriorated, we spent more time together. Lung cancer eventually took control of his life. We spent more time together, doing things he enjoyed like watching NASCAR races and fishing when he could. His breathing problems eventually limited his activities. All of our great interviews are available as a free podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, our website, or most major podcast platforms.
Knowing our time together was short, I tried to make the most of it. He fought hard against the cancer, but it proved too much. Follow us on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Pinterest, MeWe and other social media platforms.
So, my takeaways for Father's Day are threefold. First, if you are struggling with depressive thoughts and feelings today, you are not alone and this too will pass. Second, if you aren’t the father you want to be yet, there is still time to create more pleasant memories for you and your loved ones. Lastly, if you don’t have the relationship with your father that you want and he is still around, you can work on creating it. Remember, we can’t change others, only ourselves.
Be gentle with yourselves today, and if you’re not feeling it, remember that this too shall pass.
Happy Father's Day.
Listen to numerous episodes of the radio show as a free podcast in Apple Podcasts, Spotify, our website or most major podcast platforms. e sure to follow us on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, MeWe, Pinterest and other social media platforms for the latest episodes and news.
