Career as a Baltimore Police Officer: The Toll of Violence. Sometimes, a simple question can pull back the curtain on memories you’ve buried for years. Not long ago, a retired colleague from the Baltimore Police Department posted a thought-provoking question in our Facebook group. He asked how the violence we witnessed, endured, or even had to inflict during our careers had impacted us over the years. That question really struck a chord with me. It made me pause and reflect on a time in my life that has shaped me in more ways than I ever realized.
I’ve been retired from the force since February 28, 1992. I started my career on October 6, 1980, and as I look back on those years, I see clearly now how much they left their mark—physically, emotionally, and mentally. The toll of the job is something I carry with me every day.
A Life Surrounded by Violence
Violence was an ever-present reality throughout my years on the job. It was always there, waiting in the shadows, even when I wasn’t in uniform. It didn’t take long for me to realize that the streets of Baltimore had a rhythm of their own—a rhythm often punctuated by violence. I could see it in the eyes of the people I encountered, feel it in the atmosphere, and sometimes, I found myself standing right in the middle of it.
In the beginning, things were different. I spent some time in the Construction and Repair Unit, then trained at the Baltimore Police Academy. Those early days provided some distance from the violence that I would eventually encounter. But as soon as I started patrolling the streets, the harsh reality of violence became an unavoidable part of life.
Over the years, the cases piled up. They began to blur together—domestic abuse, murder, child endangerment, and senseless attacks on the elderly. While many of those cases faded into the background, a few remain seared into my memory, and I doubt they’ll ever leave. Career as a Baltimore Police Officer: The Toll of Violence.
There are moments I still think about, like the tragic traffic accident I witnessed off-duty where a car slammed into the back of a tractor-trailer. Then there was the case of a three-year-old child, punished by his mother with the burns of lit cigarettes. It’s hard to shake the image of the man who set himself on fire in a desperate act of hopelessness or the young prostitute who was brutally stabbed and thrown down a flight of stairs like garbage. These incidents, among others, come back to me at random times. Though the intensity has dulled over the years, the emotional scars remain.
Staring Down the Barrel
Violence wasn’t something I only witnessed. There were moments when it came straight at me. Over the course of my career, I was involved in four separate incidents where I was shot at—what we’d call “officer-involved shootings” today. Thankfully, no one lost their life in those situations, but each one left its mark on me, adding to the invisible weight I carried.
The first time I was shot at, I was assisting detectives following a stolen car. When the driver spotted me, he rammed my patrol car, and the passenger fired a shot from the window. I wasn’t hit, and I didn’t return fire. THey lost control of the car and the handgun. Thankfully, the suspects were arrested without further incident, but that close call still lingers in my mind.
The second time, I was working plainclothes with the Drug Enforcement Unit. We spotted a drug deal and pursued the dealer on foot. As he ran, he fired a shot from under his left arm in my direction. I saw something fall from his hand, which we later learned was the magazine for the weapon. I chose not to return fire and focused on chasing him down. After a short pursuit, we arrested him, but that moment when I could have pulled the trigger stayed with me.
The third shooting was the most intense. A suspect had murdered a man in an armed robbery and had stolen his Corvette, and when we located the vehicle, a gunfight broke out. As the suspect sped off, he fired at us through the car window. After a head-on collision with my patrol car, I gave chase on foot, returning fire with my .38 revolver. I ran up and tacled him as he fumbled with the weapon. I hit him in the wrist, which helped lead to his capture. He’s still in prison today, but the memory of that chaotic shootout will never fade.
The final shooting incident changed my life forever. I was followring a stolen vehicle when the driver bailed out and tried to grab my gun. We struggled for control, and all six rounds were fired during the fight. By some miracle, neither of us was hit, but the struggle left me with a serious injury to my right wrist. What seemed like a simple sprain turned out to be something much worse. After three surgeries and two steel plates, my wrist was permanently damaged, forcing me into early retirement at the age of 33.
Coming to Terms with the Aftermath. Career as a Baltimore Police Officer: The Toll of Violence.
As I reflect on my time with the Baltimore Police Department, I realize that those years shaped me in ways I didn’t fully understand at the time. The physical reminders of my career are easy to see—every time I look at my wrist, I’m reminded of what happened. But the emotional and mental toll is more subtle, yet just as real. Those violent encounters may no longer haunt me as they once did, but the memories still bubble to the surface when I least expect them.
Despite the cost, I’m proud of the work I did and the brave officers I worked alongside. Policing in Baltimore wasn’t easy. It demanded everything from us, testing our resilience and our capacity to endure. The job had its challenges and its sacrifices, but I wouldn’t trade those years for anything. They made me who I am today, and for that, I’m grateful. Career as a Baltimore Police Officer: The Toll of Violence.
Life after the force has its own hurdles, but I continue to carry the lessons I learned in those intense years. For those who’ve been on the front lines, the scars—both visible and hidden—are reminders of the journey we’ve taken. If you’re curious about what it’s like to serve, just remember: behind every badge, there’s a story, and for many of us, those stories stay with us forever.
John Jay Wiley is a retired Police Sergeant and the host of the nationally syndicated Law Enforcement Talk Radio Show and podcast, you can listen to podcast episodes for free on their website, Apple Podcasts, Spotify or most major podcast platforms. You can stay updated about his story and many others simply by following us on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and most all social media platforms.
Attributions
Officer Down Memorial Page (ODMP)
Career as a Baltimore Police Officer: The Toll of Violence
